Coping in Tough Times: Put it on the Shelf

With the world financial markets at risk of a systemic collapse, I find myself standing on the edge of near panic. My husband's business is in investment banking. Every penny we saved in our lives together was nearly lost that first day the Dow crashed and our private bank almost tanked. Like many, we're worried about losing our house or our income, or both.


Whenever I begin to think about what might happen, it feels as though I am about to go down a path that ends with a Tsunami that will pound and engulf me. I realize that if I go down the Worry Road, I could start to really freak out-- bawl, tremble, and feel sick to my stomach with paralyzing fear. I'm very good at worrying and the talking heads on the news are adding fuel to the fire of my anxieties.


So, I don't go down that road. I start and then stop myself. Part of me feels like I "neeeed" to go there, like I have to worry because somehow that gives me a sense of control or that it will help me be more prepared. But I can't prepare for all the possible surprises. So, another part of me knows better: I won't make our situation better by worrying. Many times throughout the day, I find myself having to decide to put my worry on the shelf. If I REALLY feel like I need it, the option to worry is there.


I've learned, though, that you can't just take away some crutch without having something else (ideally, something more productive) to take its place. So, instead of following my Worry Road, I think of something I can DO right now. I have figured out how to save on our car payments. I've sold various household items on craigslist. I'm feeling a sense of creative control about cutting back our home budget by constantly asking myself, 'What do we really need?' I feel oddly proud about the surprising discipline I'm exhibiting over being a newly converted frugal-fascist (to the chagrin of my toy hungry, novelty seeking child and restaurant addicted spouse).

My simple plan to stay sane is to put my worry on the shelf, to focus on our family's vulnerabilities in as practical ways as possible, and to use my powers for obsessing for good (by actively controlling the many little things that I can). I am on a roll! (Just keep me away from the news)!