"F--- It!" Like a Man

A friend of mine once had a problem in which she couldn't get over what a few of her colleagues said about her. She so internalized their words that she wanted to quit her job over this single incident.

(Blog co-author) Anne said, "A man would never quit over something like that" and I thought how true. Why is it that women are so vulnerable to shooting themselves in the foot? Well, I know why, actually. My doctoral research included investigating how women's very identities are tied to connection with others and so anything that threatens our relationships, threatens the very essence of who we are. Nonetheless, shooting ourselves in the foot isn't exactly happiness conducive. And so, we sure could learn a thing or two about how the "typical" man responds: rather than taking it IN and getting depressed, it's better to let it OUT. Getting over being mad is much easier than getting over being sad.

Men can yell at each other, "F--- you!" "No, f--- YOU," quickly say, "Sorry" and then truly move on. Women, on the other hand, simply look at each other cross, then demand days worth of analytical, blood signed apologies, and begrudgingly move on, if at all. We need to be able to get mad, get hurt, and move on more quickly. Our happiness depends on it.

My husband, the vulgar philospher (in Latin, philosophus vulgaritas,-- just kiddin'), summed it up with these profound words: "You either F--- it, or you get f---ed." Sure there's more nuance to it all, but women get far too tangled up in the complexities sometimes.

If life throws a bag of crap on our door, we have the choice not to open the door and let that bag of crap into our house. Sometimes, to keep our happiness in tact, we just need to leave that bag of crap at the door and say,
"F--- It!"