Wiggle Your Butt to Get Happy

Perhaps you are hoping that my blog entry title reflects the metaphor of a mature author. It doesn't. I mean it literally: If you're in a slump, wiggle your butt. (Oh dear, is this one worth reading through to the end)?

Here is how I came to this most profound of conclusions. I noticed that my colleague's depression is situational. If her circumstances change, she will be happy. In contrast, my circumstances are great: everyone in my family is relatively healthy; I have a husband and child, a job, friends, credentials, a car that is reliable, enough food and money, but I still tend to be chronically dissatisfied (okay, downright "moody"). For me, "feeling down" is more of a physical thing, not a cognitive thing. Despite getting enough sleep, good exercise and nutrition, I usually wake up in the morning and feel heavy, tired, lethargic. I wait to observe the negative thoughts I should be restructuring, but they are simply not there.

Then I have an "AH-HA!" moment. If my primary problem is physical, then my solution has to be physical too. This proposal fits my experience. When I force myself to just smile, however half- heartedly, I instantly feel a bit better. I complain to my BFF that I'll never be one of those "Rah! Rah!" perky (aging) cheerleader types. When I make the accompanying physical gestures of Little Ms. Rah-rah, my mood spikes as I cannot help but laugh.

Just like it's impossible to feel angry when you are completely, physically relaxed, so too is it impossible to feel depressed in the moment that you are sticking your rear end out and wiggling it around like it's Hokey Pokey time. I guarantee this one! In fact, I DARE you to try it (with gusto) and NOT feel a bit better.

And so . . . The gauntlet of butt wiggling has been thrown down before you. Will you, oh brave, moody Knight, take up the challenge?

Toolbox Tidbit: Fake it!

I am by nature an introvert. I like what my mother calls "deep thinky thoughts;" to recharge my batteries, I need alone time. I also love to analyze things. All of these things that I am naturally drawn to are the enemies of greater happiness.

I often resist the term "happiness." I have philosophical problems with it. Is it a worthy goal? Perhaps I should strive for quiet contentment or mindful awareness. Hmm, let me struggle with the ideas for a while. No! Get out of your head! Stop analyzing everything and just DO something different. But what? I have tons to do, lots to keep me busy, but I find these activities, chores and duties unfulfilling. So, what now?

I picture the type of person I want to be. I want to be like this woman I met in grad. school who did yoga and centering prayer every day for the past 12 years. She had a softness to her. She was quiet, warm, but glowed. Cliche's I suppose, but all true and very rare. I want to be like her. Instead, I analyze, stress, yearn, ache, and worry. And then I berate myself for these things and feel hopeless about ever being any different.

Stop. Don't go there (again and again). Do something different. Picture her. Channel her. And so I just smile like I think she did. And . . .Oh . . . My. . . God. It works. I actually feel instantly better just having a soft smile on my face. How can that be? Who cares. It works. Keep it up, I say!

I will fake it 'til I make it. I'm not warm, glowy, and content, but if I go through all the motions as if I were, I sure am a lot closer to being like that than with anything else I can try today.

Signed, with soft eyes, a gentle smile, and more happiness.