Open up a word document with a blank page. Hit "Save as" and write, "Resilience History." You may not feel like it; you may roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, yeah, I'll just do it in my head, thanks," but I'm telling you to write it down. Write it down! Do I need to resort to drill Sargent expletives?! Write it DOWN @#$*+>~!!!!
Okay, okay, already! What do you write down? Ready? Your personal history of all the times you've been resilient. You need to do this exercise because you don't even KNOW how resilient you really are. You don't even realize the positive choices you've made, given whatever obstacles you've faced. You haven't taken full credit yet for managing the best you could. Write it down, year by year, memory by memory. Not only will you boost your sense of competence, but the next time life throws you a curve ball (and it will), you will be better able to remind yourself, "Hey, I have some skills that I've used before that might apply here!"
Don't leave anything out. By this I specifically mean, don't minimize the "small stuff" because life is primarily made up of the small stuff!
When I think of some of my own resilient moments, one of the things I remember is being a kid and feeling overwhelmed by my parents' regular, volatile arguments. Sometimes I'd throw myself on my bed and bawl, but sometimes (the more resilient choice): I'd go outside and sit on this one tree stump in the middle of a wide open field that overlooked a forest line. I instantly felt better. It's important for me to have this bit of information because it's still one of the things that makes me feel better: get out into some wide open space, see some big sky and be reminded that life is bigger than my little world.
What are some of the ways you've been resilient in your life? How have you made the best of what you had to deal with? Take the time to make a record of your history of personal strength. It's worth it . . . You're worth it.
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no, I changed my mind, I don't want to comment
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